Water falls...

It was early in the morning, I had just waken up. Sun was pouring through the windows, it was nice and warm, I hadn´t feel one like that in a long, long time. I started having breakfast in the kitchen, feeling the sun on my face and chest. It was time for some exercise!


Chopping wood was always nice in sunny days, specially when there´s a warm breeze in the air. I could feel the warm smell flowers and trees in the air, it was indeed a glorious morning. I removed my shirt and put it on the rocking chair that was on my porch and starting chopping. The wood reserve was nearly at the end, I had to get some more later on. The morning passed by and I didn´t even noticed and before I realized, there were no more logs to cut, I had to go get some more. Grabbed something from the fridge for lunch and I was ready to go. I placed the axe and my shirt in the truck, when I opened the door, I heard a thunder, but there were no clouds in sky. Something was coming and I could already guess what it was, but this time I wouldn´t be here. I started the truck and drove half an hour to the woods. 4 hours were spent cutting wood and picking small logs, I would have to do that for at least 5 more times until I had enough wood for the winter, but there was time. Summer was just starting and I was needing the work out. The truck was filled and I was ready to go back but something wasn´t right, I felt I was been watch. In fact, I felt like that since I stopped the truck.


The sun was still high and it would stay way that for a few more hours. There was a place I didn´t visit for a long time, since last summer, I believed the time to revisit that place had come. The path was still there, it was easy to follow. I ´don´t believe how that placed has remain untouched by man, so filled of life. Has I walked through that place, my senses became more alive, more alert. The woods were filled with the warm smell of trees and flowers, I could hear the birds singing and animals running around, life was blooming everywhere. 15 minutes later I found that place of life, a lagoon under a large waterfall. The sun was shinning down on the lagoon and all the life surrounding it, was visible. Birds, rabbits, raccoons even a deer drinking water. There wasn´t a single sign of civilization, nature was whole there and I could feel one with it.


Something caught my attention, once again that feeling of being watched. The deer became scared and ran off, quick foot steps behind me, a quick charge on my back. All of a sudden I´m watching bottom of the lagoon and start swimming to the surface. I heard someone laughing, a woman. It had to be her. Again. She was standing there with her hand covering her mouth and the other arm covering her stomach, laughing.


- Thanks a lot. It had to be you, right? Damn it!


- What´s the matter, lumberjack? Afraid your "wood" might rot? - she gave me a smile filled with mockery


- No, but my cell phone was in my pocket along with my car and house keys.


- Your cell phone is in your place, your car keys are in your truck and your house keys are in the tools wooden shack, like you always do when you come here.


-Have you been spying on me?!


-No. You´re just a creature of habits, and old habits die hard. You are kinda predictable.


-If I´m that predictable, why do you keep coming back? I thought you liked spontaneous. Damn it, now my clothes are all wet. - I climbed out of the water, with my soaken wet jeans, fortunatly, I already had taken out my shoes. I was angry at her, she always did that, sneaking up on me, showing up whenever she wanted. It was part of her charm, no doubt about it. She was just like the last time I saw her, brown eyes, short dark hair and this time, tight shorts and a top. My mind wondered off for a second.

-Not all of them, your shirt is still on the truck.

-I thought you weren´t spying on me!

-I lied. You look good when your chopping wood, in those jeans. - she started walking slowly towards me, bitting her lipp and smilling, like a child that was something on her mind. Only this is was not a child and that something on her mind always meant hard work and lots of sweat. She tried to kiss me but I didn´t let her.

-What? You´re mad because of a little prank?

-Yes, you´re always toying me.

-And you like it. Besides you haven´t stop looking down on my cleavage since you got out of the water, so you´re, probably, not that mad at me. - She winked at me. I was crystal clear to her, no doubt about it. And the more I resisted, the more fun she would get. - You also look good all wet in those jeans you know? - She took three steps back, stared me in the eyes and started smiling.

-What are you smiling about?

-Are you gonna get in the water or not?

-I´ve already been there in case you haven´t noticed and now I need to get home.

-Spending almost an hour in those wet jeans might give you a cold, besides you aren´t gonna get the seats of your truck all wet. If you leave your jeans on the rocks they´ll dry enough so you can get home, sickness free.

-Yeah right. I heard that one before.

-If it didn´t came from me, you haven´t heard it. You don´t bring girls here. In fact, none of the girls you hang out with, are crazy enough to get you naked in the woods.

-And just how do you know that? - It was a stupid question that didn´t deserve an answer. Just a glare that told me everything.

She took a few steps back, staring me in the eyes. I´ll never forget that look. She always got what she wanted, and right now, she wanted me. I felt like a rabbit trying to face a lion. She started losing her shorts buttons. Slowly. One by one. She never took her eyes of mine. My heart started to race and my palms started to sweat. I tried to keep myself together. She slowly took off her shorts and threw them at me with her foot. I barely had a reaction, only caught them after they had hit my face. She laughed and it sounded beautifully, still I wasn´t going to give in. At least not yet. She turned around and started taking her top off, but suddenly she stopped and pulled it down. She started dancing, doing slow, round movements with her hips. She continued dancing as she walking backwards. In few steps her back was against my chest.

-That´s a nice bikini you have. I didn´t know you were into purple.- I tried to play it cool, not to given to quickly, make it last. She pulled my head over her right shoulder and kissed me. My right hand gained a life of it´s own, started traveling and before I realized, my harm was around her waist. She slapped my hand like I was a misbehaved boy. She stopped kissing me, but she didn´t let my head go.

-Would you like to see the rest of it? - she whispered in my hear. I didn´t need to answer, we knew where we were going, words would only be used for fun now. She pulled my head toward her neck. I started kissing it, slowly, then moving down to her shoulders. At the same time my finger tips started moving around her waist. I moved my lips again to her neck, her breathing was getting heavier, I slowly started taking her top. She was caressing my hair, almost petting me, I started nibbling her hear, a shiver went down her spine, she arched her back and grabbed my hair. I took her top off and threw it aside. Before the top hit the ground she started running and took a plunge in the lagoon. She immediately surfaced.

-Well? Are you coming or what?

-Very funny! You know I have no bathing suit.

-Neither do I.- As she was saying it, she raised her arms in the air showing both pieces of her bikini.

-So you´re saying I should simply take my pants off and get in the water with you?!

-Great. You´re a quick learner.

-Yes but I could just leave in my truck.

-Not if your keys are in my car and since you don´t know were my car is...

-So I´m gonna have to hurt you, is that it?!- she was toying me. Again. I knew it and I let it happen. Like always.

-Please sir, don´t hurt me! I´m so scared, all alone in this lagoon, with no clothes on.- She gave me that defying look. I could hear her thoughts out loud as if they were my own. "Come and get me if you can", that´s what her eyes were screaming. I dived in. Before I could catch my first breath after the dive, my lips had already met hers. We held each other, I could feel her warm touch even with the cold water. She stopped kissing me and looked me in the eyes.

-What about your pants?

-You´re worried about laundry now?

-No. Just worried about you, I don´t want you to catch a cold. Give them to me. I´ll leave them in the rocks to dry.

-You´re not gonna run off with them are you?!

-Don´t worry, they´re not my size.- she smiled and I gave her my pants. That smile could melt ice or burn brighter than the sun. Empires have fallen because of smiles like that one. My heart was filled with warm feelings. Again I was at peace, I could feel life all around me and more importantly, inside me. I felt alive every time she was with me, just like that moment.
She was in the water, placing my jeans on the rocks. I went to her, sneaking, placed my hands on her arms and started kissing her shoulders and her back. Our hearts began to race, her breathing became heavier, I started kissing her neck and at the same time she placed her hands on the rock. I placed my arms around her pressing her body against me and began nibbling on her hear lobe. She placed her hands over mine releasing a moan. She opened my arms and turned towards me, kissing me and then she started swimming. I thought she was running again, playing. No. Just moving. I followed her to the rocks behind the waterfall. We climbed the rocks and fell in each others arms.Those dark eyes contained an entire world and I was lost in it, that world was my world but only as long she allowed it. Her kiss could bring one back from the dead, it was filled of life, caring, passion and it had the taste of freedom. We looked in each others eyes as we kissed, like if we were struggling. I started caressing her face and then her hair. We both smiled, started kissing, our eyes were closed and everything else disappeared, we couldn´t see or hear anything beside us, there was nothing else but that moment. With my hands I could feel every curve of her body, soft and warm. At the same time I explored her body with my lips, every line, every curve, her breathing was heavier. When my lips reached her stomach, she placed her hands in my head and began caressing my hair, her body began to shiver. As my lips kept moving down her reaction became more intense, soon enough she was moaning, pulling my hair and arching her back. She pulled me up, kissed me placed her hands on my back pressing me against her. I could feel her heart racing, just like mine. In a swift move our positions changed, I could feel the cold stone on my back, but more importantly, I could feel her warm body on top of me. Again she kissed me and we became one, our bodies entangled and the day became the night. In each others arms we fell asleep and like that we stayed for hours. I woke up it was early morning and like every other day she was gone, leaving me my dry pants, my shirt and the keys to my truck.

-Looks like she wasn´t lying about the keys...

Perdido...

A minha solidão mantém-se. Não sei se por esperar por ti ou se por não saber tirar-te do meu pensamento, do meu coração, do meu ser. Não deixei de comer, nem deixei de dormir, mas a comida deixou de ter sabor e não consigo dormir mais de 2 horas. Passo horas a revirar na cama a pensar em ti, em mim, em nós. Nós! Pergunto-me se isso alguma vez terá existido, para ti pelo menos. Lembro-me dias de sol, risos e cores, agora o sol queima-me e o dia deu lugar a noite, as cores deixaram de existir para dar lugar a preto, branco e cinzento, tendo como única iluminação os candeeiros da rua e a ponta do cigarro aceso, companheiro das longas noites. Passo as noites a deambular pelas ruas da cidade perdido em pensamentos revoltos e álcool, a revolta é a minha vida, a confusão, as lutas. Perco-me na noite como um mendigo, sem casa sem destino, apenas com uma coisa na cabeça. Tu. A forma como entraste na minha vida, como por breves momentos vivemos uma vida conjunta, partilhá·mos sonhos e sentimentos, sonhámos com um futuro. Foste para mim em pouco tempo do que muitos foram em uma vida inteira. Tudo isso acabou num instante, tudo se desmoronou à minha volta, como um castelo de cartas. Agora tudo o que me resta È a ira de um homem sem rumo, sem futuro e sem amor próprio. Fiz da tua vida a minha, quando partiste levaste-a contigo. Hoje não passo de uma sombra, alguém que parecido com alguém que existiu em tempos.Desapareceste sem saber como ou porquê, é a pergunta que me faz procurar nos sítios errados e é a resposta errada que me faz tomar as decisões erradas. Eras tudo aquilo que eu queria, agora és tudo aquilo que eu quero esquecer para recuperar a minha vida ou a esperança de voltar a ter alguma. Não passo da sombra de alguém que existiu e tu a luz que criou a sombra.

Noite de festa...

Não sei porquê mas quis sair, perder-me no turbilhão de gente que passeava nas ruas a ver espectáculos de rua, ver as barraquinhas de bugigangas, sentir o cheiro da sardinha assada o ar. A cidade estava mais viva nesta noite que em qualquer outro dia. A juventude corria desenfreada com os pais sempre de olho neles, os adolescentes também mas já com o álcool a correr-lhes nos sangue, sem falar nuns quantos que já estavam caídos a um canto tal não era a bebedeira. Namorados passeavam de mãos dadas quase com medo de se perderem uns dos outros no reboliço. O cheiro a sardinha ia desaparecendo com o avançar da noite e começava notar-se mais o cheiro a pipocas, farturas e mais tarde o pão com chouriço a sair dos fornos a lenha no meio da rua. O tempo passava e as famílias desapareciam com os filhos da rua só ficando os adolescentes, os bêbados e os resistentes do antigamente. Agora sim a festa começava, junto aos palcos, pelas ruas, em grupos numerosos, em pequenos grupos, em convívio, em conflito provocado pelo álcool ou pelo ajuste de contas de dissabores amorosos. São 3 da manhã e a cidade ainda fervilha. Junto ao cais a coisa anima-se mais do que esperado e a polícia vem intervir, nem seria festa se assim não fosse e também não seria se espectadores inocentes não fossem puxados para a confusão, sendo eu um deles. A polícia carrega sobre o pessoal sem fazer distinção, novo ou velho, homem ou mulher. Comecei a correr juntamente com mais outros tantos, isto já era festa a mais para mim. Vi-te a minha frente. Cais-te. Num impulso tentei ajudar-te, levantar-te do chão, impedir que fosses pisada pela multidão em fuga ou então que os polícias cegos chegassem ao pé de ti. O bom samaritanismo vale-me a mim de uma bastonada nas costas, felizmente não foi forte o suficiente para me impedir de continuar a fugir e esconder-mo-nos no jardim. A confusão acalmou num instante e ficámos os dois afastados do resto do pessoal em fuga e da polícia. Praguejas-te por teres rasgado as calças e por não teres gostado de ter de andar a correr a frente da polícia e que o pessoal desta terra devia ser todo doido, acendeste um cigarro para acalmar. A única coisa que me passava pela cabeça era dizer-te "Não tens de quê!", mas preferi pedir-te um cigarro. Com o que se passou nem te apercebes-te da minha presença, nem percebes-te o que te tinha dito. Pedi-te um cigarro novamente e ai acedes-te ao meu pedido pedindo desculpa. Ficaste ainda meio confusa a olhar para mim, a pensar quem era eu. Perguntaste-me porque é que eu te tinha ajudado ao qual eu respondi que também não sabia. Sentei-me no banco de jardim que ali estava, com aquela correria nem me lembrava que me tinham batido nas costas, por isso encostei-me desencostando-me rapidamente assim que senti a dor, nessa altura só pensei "Esta vai deixar marca.". Disse que pareceu-me a coisa certa na altura, apesar de que ser correcto por vezes dói. Acendi o cigarro, dando em seguida um suspiro quase como se funcionasse como analgésico. Começas-te a praguejar novamente, a perguntar se o pessoal da terra era tudo doido, a resposta óbvia era sim tal como era mais que óbvio que não eras de cá. Comecei a explicar o importante das festas da cidade e também de como não era festa se estas cenas não acontecessem e que também era normal alguém de fora não perceber o espírito da festa. Sorris-te e perguntas-te se era assim tão óbvio que não eras de cá, a resposta era mais que clara visto ninguém de cá sair à rua nesta altura com sapatos com salto por muito mínimo que fosse. Nesta atura corre-se muito, ou à frente dos touros ou à frente da polícia mas sempre de ténis, nunca de saltos. Desta vez encostei-me devagarinho o banco, para não doer tanto. Perguntei se te tinhas mudado para ali à pouco tempo disses-te que sim e impediste-me de perguntar mais alguma coisa, perguntando se eu estava bem. Eu respondi que sim e que já não levava uma daquelas à muito tempo mas que era o risco de andar a passear naquela zona, nesta altura do ano. Acho que estava a pedi-las. Tentei levantar-me, lentamente, a pancada estava a começar a arrefecer e estava a dor estava a aumentar, sentia-me um velho com reumático. Ajudaste-me a levantar colocando o meu braço a tua volta e colocando o teu braço à minha volta, apertando exactamente onde não devias. Só pude dizer entre dentes "Não apertes". Tiraste logo o braço à minha volta pedindo desculpa, mas continuas-te a segurar o meu braço a volta do teu pescoço que eu retirei lentamente assim que me consegui endireitar. Pedis-te desculpa por não teres agradecido por te ter ajudado a sair da confusão, as dores nem me deixavam pensar nisso, mas disses-te que a única coisa que podias fazer era levar-me ao hospital. Eu agradeci, mas gelo chegava perfeitamente e disseste que isso arranjavas facilmente. Comecei a notar uma certa aflição na tua voz quiseste levar-me para tua casa, dizias que ao menos o gelo querias dar-me antes que isto ficasse pior. Começá-mos a andar em direcção a tua casa, disseste-me onde ficava, a minha ficava mais perto mas também estava a ser uma noite interessante, quis ver até onde é que ela ia. Quando chegámos a tua casa, disses-te para me sentar no sofá enquanto ias buscar o gelo. Algo mole para me sentar e encostar soube bem. Quando voltaste trazias um saco de gelo enrolado numa toalha, foi aí que comecei a reparar em ti, no teu cabelo curto, castanho escuro, olhos claros, pele escura. Ninguém costuma ser muito bonito quando corremos à frente de um cacetete. Pedis-te para me virar, e puxaste as costas da minha camisa para cima e fizeste um som de quem não gostou do que viu. Imaginei logo que a marca não fosse bonita. Colocas-te o gelo sobre a marca negra nas minhas costas, o frio soube bem. Encostas-te a tua cabeça ás minhas costas como se tivesses cansada e disseste que isto era mais do que estavas à espera de uma noite de festas populares, que uma nódoa de cerveja ou vinho era aceitável. Fiquei mais um pouco mas ficámos em silêncio, estava a tornar-se desconfortável, disse-lhe que se calhar era melhor sair. Concordas-te, disses-te que estava a ficar tarde e acompanhaste-me até à porta. À despedida disseste que não era hábito teu fazer aquilo, eu disse que também não era hábito meu ir fazer gelo por causa de bastonadas em casa de pessoas desconhecidas. Mostras-te algo mais que não tinha tomado atenção ainda, o teu sorriso e disses-te que também não ias fazias intenção de receber mais estranhos para tratamento contra hematomas. Agradeci e passei a porta, pedis-te para esperar e perguntas-te se eu não queria saber o teu nome, limitei-me a responder que assim não tinha desculpa para voltar a tua casa. Sorris-te novamente e disses-te que ficavas à espera...